The Bridegroom
The Bridegroom
By John Woodward
April 26, 2002
Last Thursday, ABC TV in the U.S. showed the much-hyped concluding episode of "The Bachelor." A newspaper article has observed, "The show ... premiered last month with 25 women vying for the affections of a 31-year-old San Francisco management consultant ... For fans of the series, the show plays like a real-life soap opera--following the escapades of handsome Harvard and Stanford graduate Alex Michel as he loves up, then winnows down, his adoring harem to a select few. Viewers are privy to the intimate conversations, cat fights,...and miserable rejections. (The woman left sitting without a rose at the end of the episode is expelled.) ... in Thursday's finale, Michel ... selects his Mrs. Right. [1]
Although this is intended for entertainment, it also conveys implicit values to the millions of viewers. Therefore we are not to be conformed to the world, but rather be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Rom. 12:2). The way these young women clamored after the bachelor, it appears that many singles feel radically INCOMPLETE. People are desperate to get their perceived needs met. The Exchanged Life involves seeing every aspect of life from God's perspective. Thankfully, believers are never incomplete: "You are complete in Him [Christ], who is the head of all principality and power" (Col. 2:10).
Cindy Galdal writes a column for Christian singles in New York City. She testifies of how our ultimate needs can be met in Christ:
"When I was a little girl our family was the only one I knew that had been torn apart by divorce. Every summer we would leave our home in Brooklyn to visit my cousins in the suburbs. The perks of having a daddy were made very clear to me. My uncle provided a large home in the country for his family. My cousins had every toy known to mankind. My aunt lived a charmed life as a stay-at-home mom in contrast to my mom who had no choice but to work. Throughout my childhood, and for many years of my adulthood, I felt inferior without ever realizing it. Then the Holy Spirit began to show me the false beliefs I had been living under. The enemy had begun deceiving me at a very early age. As a child I believed I was incomplete because I didn't have a dad.
"Then as an adult I felt the same way because I didn't have a husband. Deep within my being I thought that the only way to be happy was to be married and live in the suburbs. I was convinced that I couldn't enjoy life until I attained those things. Slowly, the Lord began to reveal the truth to me. It wasn't the daddy, the husband, the house, or the country that I truly longed for. I wanted what they represented to me. That included a sense of security, self-worth, acceptance, and love. Now I know that these needs, my deepest needs, are all met in Christ. I am also able to look back and appreciate the wonderful childhood my mother worked so hard to give us.
"Christianity is so much more than mere religion. Intimacy with God brings fulfillment and satisfaction that cannot be experienced apart from Him. I am amazed at how God continually works to bring deeper healing into my life.
"Where are you in your walk? Do you spend precious time in His Word getting to know Him and His desire for your life? Do you recognize Him as the One who wants to restore your soul? Do you tarry in prayer as you pour your heart out to Him? Are you sensitive to the stirring of His Spirit within you?
"Make your relationship with Him the center of your life. Accept no substitutions for His unconditional love. See yourself through His eyes. Enjoy the security of your inseparable union with Him. Recognize that your inner healing will continue to deepen as your intimacy with Him deepens. The rewards of knowing Him will amaze you." [2] Amen!
Have you ever reflected on your identity as part of the "Bride of Christ"? Believers are so blessed to be considered espoused to Him. You recall how John the Baptist described the Lord Jesus as the bridegroom (John 3:29). Christ Himself used this metaphor when He compared His return to heaven to prepare a place for His people with the way a Jewish bridegroom would go to his father's property and prepare a home for his future wife (John 14:1-6). Marriage in Bible times was initiated by a formal covenant of engagement ("betrothal"). This symbolizes the New Covenant that Christ established at Calvary (Matt. 26:28; Heb. 9:15). After a number of months, the bridegroom would suddenly return, and the marriage ceremony would take place. Then the couple would unite, and all their family and friends would enjoy a feast of celebration. The Second Coming is compared to this imminent return of the bridegroom (Matt.22:1-14; 25:1); the glorious fellowship of Christ and His church that follows in heaven is described as the "Marriage Supper of the Lamb" (Rev 19:9).
The gracious love of our Bridegroom is totally different than "The Bachelor"! Reality TV's bachelor courts a group of glamorous women, promises them a future, uses them, and rejects all but one. His criteria is only what will be appealing to his desires.
However, The Bridegroom laid down his life to betroth a bride that was unlovely, and unqualified (Rom 5:8). Instead of rejecting us, He has chosen us (Eph. 1:4-6). This marriage is not just for His benefit, but for our eternal well being (Eph. 2:11-18). This courtship is not to entertain or frustrate viewers, but to invite all to receive God's eternal, sacrificial love (Eph. 5:25).
The matchmaker/producer is not a Hollywood executive, out for material success; He is the Holy Spirit who delights in magnifying the Bridegroom and rescuing the lost (1 Cor. 12:3).
In his book on courtship, the Power of Passion, Rob Eagar emphasizes the need for appreciating God's personal love in Christ: "Some singles, though, doubt their worth to Jesus. As they walk in and out of church by themselves, they question whether anyone cares about them. Some churches further alienate singles by making married adults and families a priority. Many times, singles are segregated from the rest of the congregation or ignored altogether...
"Jesus never regards you as just another face or number. He is specifically attracted to you and loves you as a unique person. He stated this fact when speaking to his disciples: "What is the price of five sparrows? A couple of pennies? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows" (Luke 12:6-7 NLT).
"Jesus was expressing His intimate knowledge of you. He knows every detail about you--including how many hairs on your head and even whether your hair color is natural! You are His valuable creation. Therefore, He is attracted to you as a unique and special person.
"Jesus Christ, Ruler of the universe, knows and loves you as a distinct individual. You may feel lost in the crowd, but you always stand out in the eyes of Jesus. He takes joy in your unique personality, your interests, your strengths, and even your weaknesses. Furthermore, He doesn't demand that you imitate other Christians to secure His approval. His love is unconditional, and He wants you to be yourself. So real passion not only involves the imitation of Christ's love but also incorporates the truth that you are a unique individual who brings Him joy." [3]
So, let's send out the wedding invitations: "And the Spirit and the bride say, 'Come!' And let him who hears say, 'Come!' And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely" (Rev. 22:17).
JBW
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Grace Notes, April 26, 2002, Vol. 5, #18
Footnotes:
[1] Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn, "'Bachelor': A Little Sweet, a Little Bitter," April 22, 2002, The Los Angeles Times. (Producers said that the bachelor was under no contractual obligation to make a marriage proposal.)
[2] Cindy Galdal, "From the Heart of the City," March 2002 Reproducedby permission of The Christian Life-Times. BUCG1@aol.com
[3] Rob Eagar, The Power of Passion: Applying the Love of Christ to Dating Relationships, (Grace Press, 2002), 23-25. Available at http://www.powerofpassion.com
See also the booklet, "Never Alone: God's Word for Single Adults," in the Friendship Series from The Bible League, http://www.connectionclub.com 1-800-334-7017
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